i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
