We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
