yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
