My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
