I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
