I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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