They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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