This is not my ceiling
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
