I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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