i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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