all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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