I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
