What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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