just tell him i said nine months
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
