I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
