Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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