after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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