i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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