ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize