you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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