Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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