It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
