Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
