Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
