better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
