so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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