Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
