I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am one with the molecules
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
