Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
do nipples grow back?
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