When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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