Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
