Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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