I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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