My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
