$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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