i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
That accounts for only three of the penises
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
