2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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