And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize