Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Its about making memories worth repressing
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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