i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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