Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
