No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
