forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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