next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
