How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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