White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize