dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
