Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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