Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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