You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
