Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
