But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
