like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I could fuck to npr.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
