We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
