I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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