I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
