Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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