ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
