so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We are all done wearing pants today
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
