We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
