I wish i was in the wii world.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
