weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
